she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
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How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
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He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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