just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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