I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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