If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Drake has all the answers
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize