My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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