I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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