just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
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He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
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Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
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