Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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