I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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