dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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