this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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