If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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