take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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