Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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