Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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