I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
third nipple confirmed
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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