Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
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I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
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When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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