just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize