try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
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And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
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If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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