my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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