I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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