Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
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i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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