whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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