Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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