she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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