Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize