i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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