sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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