Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
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He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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