Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
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The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
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We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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