he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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