dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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