God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize