That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
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I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
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I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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