Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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