dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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