My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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