apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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