She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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