found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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