I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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