So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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