Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize