how can u be prego again
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
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I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
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Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize