Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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