So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
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Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
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All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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