The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
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I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
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Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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