we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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