When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
There are leaves in my underwear?
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