I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize